Secret Squirrel

I can't believe I got paid to relocate a squirrel.

I'm totally not kidding.

My summer job is at a lake not far from town, where we had a slight squirrel problem. Every night (and sometimes during the day) this squirrel was breaking in to eat M&M's (peanut, of course) and the occasional regular candy bar.

So, the company set a humane trap, baited with candy. SNAPPO! He set it off within five hours.

My boss told me to drive the squirrel into the woods to release it. And so, there I was, with my trusty partner, in the company truck, motoring down the road to induct our passenger into the Squirrel Relocation Program.

We stopped a few miles down the road, just across from a creek. Then we lifted the cage into the brush, away from the pavement and opened the door. He jetted out of there, into the nearest tree. My partner and I debated about whether or not to leave him some candy, you know, to wean himself from his addiction. So, we ended up unwrapping some of his favorite bait and pitching it toward his new tree house.

And all the while we were thinking, I hope he doesn't have a family left behind...